Beautiful People

I just had a bum tell me I was beautiful. He was actually asking for money and when I showed him that literally all I had on me was a book and my keys he simply told me that I was beautiful. Funny how that word can mean so much to me even coming from a complete stranger. He will never know how much I needed to hear that.
It's funny how we can't really choose who sees our beauty. We've all got an incredible amount inside of us. But there are only certain people in our lives that ever take to time to see us in our full beauty. Makes me want to take the time to really get to know some of my friends better, to try and find the beauty in everyone.
We did this exercise in my acting class during the first few days in which people got up and performed monologues and the Professor talked about how amazing it was to watch everyone and how it was so neat to see how beautiful people really are. It was so true. Everytime someone was up there you couldn't resist but think, "wow, look at how beautiful he/she is".
This is a shout out to Alexis, who said she read my blog. She is more beautiful than I think she knows too. She lets me use the bathroom at her house right now. That, for me right now, is true beauty.

My Clogged Toilet

Well, my plumbing happened to go out the weekend that my parents were here visiting. Yeah, it went out on Friday and of course no one could fix it over the weekend so I patiently waited until Monday (today) for someone to fix it only to come home to a post-it note on my door informing me that the plumbing blockage is now a city issue and it is unknown when exactly it will be fixed. I hope the city of Eugene pulls through on this one. It's starting to not be as fun to take random adventures to businesses just to use their toilet.
Tonight I made bug-juice chicken wings to share with Jackie and Jef. That was always a dish that I loved whenever my mom made it. I think I succeeded alright too as they were pretty tasty.
As much as I try to keeo myself occupied and do things for myself so that I forget to think about my old boyfriend he still sneaks into my mind fairly often. I find that the times I most often notice myself thinking of him are the first thing in the morning when I wake up and also (unfortunately) sometimes when I am onstage (from which I have to pull myself out and try to bring myself back into the play as quickly as possible. I will miss the play quite a bit after it is over. Mostly for the social aspects of it. I like being able to see and check up with everyone in it as often as I get to now. Will have to make more of an effort to do that later on.
Being single has felt strange so far. Not really much different than before on that day to day basis because really, I was pretty much on my own in Eugene anyways, but it is strange in that way that I don't have a friend to confide in all of the time and someone who seems genuinely interested in my life and wants to see me.
I am finding my joy in some of the simple things in life right now. Growing seeds, listening to music, watching a good movie, playing a game, eating good food, feeding my fish. Too bad my fish seems to be on the lurch right now too. Alas, cruel world. I will conquer you yet... it will just take me some time.

Wild (and Crazy) Oats

When I have all of my Quaker clothes on including the jacket and huge bonnet, I call it my elephant outfit. It helps when I sway back and forth lazily with my arms dangling. There was a review of Wild Oats today in the Register Guard that had unappealing title ("Wild Oats not as wildly funny as it could be") and then proceeded to mostly give a plot summary of the show. Here is the only thing it said about me: "Meredith Ott is sweet, serious, and intelligent as Lady Amaranth". Not too bad. Tomorrow morning we have a really early show for high schoolers. I'm not sure yet how they will react to it. I think the show is certainly entertaining no matter what age you are so hopefully that will hold true and nothing will be too entirely far over their heads. The costumes and set are beautiful and, I would think, very fun to look at. This website has pictures should anyone be interested. This guy also took my little headshot and for as few pictures as he took of me, I think it turned out pretty well. http://www.cliffcoles.comAs far as the rest of my life, I feel like I am truckin along and just trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other right now. I did get a letter today telling me my Graduate Teaching assignments for next year. That was exciting and great news because not only is my tuition waived for all of next year, but I actually will be making just over $700 per months and get benefits. Hell yeah, it's about time. Very good news indeed.

So, I didn't do so well on that bracket thing. Yikes. Guess I will now owe Emma and Megan drinks. Thank goodness for friends.
Just coming out of a relationship, I think I have never felt so lonely. I don't really have all that many close friends here in Eugene and my family is a ways away as well. This has been a really rough week for me getting ready to put on a show and having lots of rehearsal hours, not having anyone really come to see me at opening night, and my back has felt tweaked due to wearing the corset. I might look into getting a professional massage. There is a spot in the middle of it that wont stop hurting. Has made it hard to sleep lately as I can't seem to get comfortable.
Well, enough complaining. Maybe not... this year has been fucking hard. The worst part is that sometimes it seems like life is just getting harder and harder. I suppose there are lots of great challenges out there for me right now, which is good. I just don't want to be sad anymore. I need to figure out a way to start celebrating my life more. I think it will be good for me to take a year off after grad school and find something that I really enjoy doing, and go to a place I really enjoy being.
A friend asked me today what it is that I want to do with my life. The truth is, I think, that I really don't know yet. Guess I'm still searching for some direction and hoping that it will come to me. Maybe I will take a year off to work at a restaurant and do theatre. Maybe then I will go and get my teaching certificate so I can try teaching at a high school. Maybe I will join the Peace Corps and go far away. Maybe I will go home.
Who knows. Who knows. Just keep floating on. That's all I know to do.